Compassion-led: Teen girls in Oklahoma foster care find shelter, hope and healing at Tulsa Girls’ Home

Tucked into the trees of a 5-acre ranch in Sapulpa, Tulsa Girls’ Home serves teen girls placed in Oklahoma’s foster care system by offering a safe space of shelter, services and support. 

“Tulsa Girls’ Home is less like a facility and more of a family. It’s less clinical and all that,” says current resident Georgia (name changed for privacy), 17. “We do sit-down dinners together, and we talk about our day. We hug each other, and we’re just close like that.”

When a girl arrives, she is immediately placed on an individualized path toward healing that includes weekly one-on-one therapy, group counseling and support for her own personal goals. The girls also receive life skills training in areas such as cooking, personal finance, etiquette, household management and employment assistance like resume building and interview coaching. 

Tulsa Girls’ Home staff members also work to combat negative or preconceived notions that may exist about teens in foster care. “Whenever you meet someone, they might have this opinion or stereotype of us in their head,” 15-year-old Jessica (name changed for privacy) adds. “They (TGH) try to tell them ‘Hey, that’s not it,’ and show them we’re more than that.”

As president and co-founder of the nonprofit Project Orphans, Tulsan and Oral Roberts University alumna Brittany Stokes spent 12 years working to provide foster care, social services, food, education, shelter and support to children in countries like Guatemala, Brazil and Uganda. Nearly two years ago, Stokes and co-founder Christina Yarid expanded their mission of helping at-risk youth abroad to also include those closer to Green Country, launching the Tulsa Girls’ Home to provide a home and services for teen girls in Oklahoma’s foster care system.

“I wanted to help build a therapeutic, compassion-led home that supported the orphaned, neglected and abused girls in Oklahoma,” Stokes says. “I believed we could do better for teen girls in our state’s custody. These children are the ‘modern orphan’ of our community, and they need the love of a family.” 

While TGH is a separate entity from the Tulsa Boys’ Home, the two collaborate on many efforts and work to lead the state in residential care quality, Stokes says. 

Stokes and her husband Kyron fostered kids for years and adopted their daughter, Miracle —who spent close to a decade in the system — when she was 16. According to Stokes, teenage girls in foster care are often overlooked and misunderstood. “I’ve seen the obstacles, the stigmatism and the lack of resources for these girls,” she says.

TGH currently houses eight young women between the ages of 14 and 18 who are in custody of the Oklahoma Department of Human Services, but the need for this kind of service far exceeds availability. 

“We get phone calls every single month, asking if we have an open bed. Whether a girl ages out or is reunited with her family, or if a girl gets adopted, that bed gets filled,” Stokes says. “I think what’s even sadder is we’ve had girls who message us, and they say, ‘I’m in foster care. I want to come to the Girls' Home.’ That really breaks your heart. A group home was never meant to replace family, and I truly believe that every one of our girls right now deserves a family.”

When a girl arrives, she is immediately placed on an individualized path toward healing that includes weekly one-on-one therapy, group counseling and support for her own personal goals. The girls also receive life skills training in areas such as cooking, personal finance, etiquette, household management and employment assistance like resume building and interview coaching. 

Tulsa Girls’ Home staff members also work to combat negative or preconceived notions that may exist about teens in foster care.

“Whenever you meet someone, they might have this opinion or stereotype of us in their head,” 15-year-old Jessica (name changed for privacy) adds. “They (TGH) try to tell them ‘Hey, that’s not it,’ and show them we’re more than that.”

The role TGH plays goes far beyond counseling and teaching the girls basic life skills. The TGH team fulfills many parental roles, including transporting girls to health care and hair appointments, and even getting them ready for prom and graduation.

“It’s parenting the parentless and loving them just as your own child,” Stokes says. “You teach them like you would your own child. You give them the same opportunities you would want for your own child. That’s a very different way of thinking when it comes to providing services to youth in foster care.”

TGH plans to extend some of its activities to girls who are not residents, like a birthday bash this spring for over 100 girls who are in foster care. They also have an equine therapy program that will be open to more girls this summer. 

“It’s so important to go that extra length to show them, ‘You can’t push me away. I’m not going to give up on you. Your brokenness is not a barrier to my love,’” Stokes says of TGH’s philosophy. “It can’t just be a program. It has to be a family. It has to be intentional every single day.”

TGH is currently fundraising to begin building a second location in 2024. For more information on how to support the organization and its residents, visit tulsagirlshome.org.