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Barry Friedman at large

If we’re headed to hell, we’re going to need a ride. Anyone have a hand basket?

Location, location, teeth

Our At Large real estate agent wants the former owners of the dental location at East 56th Street and South Peoria Avenue to know the property will probably sell or lease faster without the giant bicuspid out front.

Nah … couldn’t see this coming.

After an Oklahoma City elementary school required 5-year-old Cooper Barton to turn his University of Michigan T-shirt inside out because it violated a code that only allows the wearing of Oklahoma-based team clothing, UM Athletic Director Dave Brandon invited Cooper and his parents to Ann Arbor for a game.

“Maybe,” Brandon said, “the recognition of this will get them to re-think their kind of crazy rule in Oklahoma … and what a bunch of crap this is.”

For his part, Oklahoma City Superintendent Karl Springer said he thought the policy might be outdated.

Ya think?

(Add to this the decision in August by Prague High School to deny Kaitlin Nootbaar, a valedictorian, her diploma after she used “hell” in her commencement speech, and it’s easy to see how August was quite the national public relations bonanza for Oklahoma schools.)

Maybe we can get along

On a Saturday morning in August on the way to get a bagel, there it was: hope. On Lewis Avenue, heading south, the Ford F-150 with the two bumper stickers, side by side, on its rear window: Jesus is Lord and Obama ’12.

“Yeah, well, I remember hot summer days growing up in Inola, so Al Gore can go to hell.”

A recent study by indicated only 8 percent of Oklahomans believe humans are solely responsible for global warming. 

FYI: in a 525-page study that took three years to complete, 600 scientists concluded humans were “accelerating the process and aggravating the delicate ecosystems” of the melting of the polar ice caps and deforestation of tropical jungles.

As astrophysicist and PBS “NOVA scienceNow” host Neil deGrasse Tyson said, “The good thing about science is that it’s true whether or not you believe in it.” 

And then their firstborns were taken to re-education camps, made to study Arthur Laffer’s economic theories and commit “Atlas Shrugged” to memory.

The Tulsa County Republican Party County Committee voted to censure Republican county commissioners Fred Perry and John Smaligo for “conduct unbecoming” — or something.

Worse, it never invited them to the inquisition.

Their crime? The two had the temerity to send a proposed 0.6 percent sales tax extension to county voters.

Smaligo and Perry didn’t endorse the tax, mind you, they just thought it would be a good idea if voters had a say in the matter, which is how democracy used to work.

And Tulsa County Republicans’ response? Give us Barabbas!

In his response, Smaligo said, “I’m disappointed that they took that action without any notice to myself,” but then added, “That’s the wonderful thing about our party. They are conservative, and they are independent thinkers, and whatever choice they make, they’re going to have my full support.”

Really, you think they’re wonderful and independent (after only three at the meeting supported you) and you plan on giving them your full support? 

What do they have to do, Commissioner? Banish you to a chat pile in Picher?


The 6-year-old, sitting in the SUV on a gravel road in Noble County, said to the New Yorker, “You’re not going to like this. There’s a lot of nature out here.”

(Your joke here)

A Tulsa woman was arrested for allegedly biting off a man’s ear. What’s troubling: police say both the man and the woman had minor bites from the family dog.

Ups and downs

UP … Planned Parenthood for now providing an array of medical services, including treatment for diabetes and high cholesterol.

UP … Protestors at East 41st Street and South Yale Avenue who were protesting on a 106-degree July day against drone attacks and a possible strike against Iran. Committed and sweating.

DOWN … Narconon

1. For paying its counselors to enroll patients,
2. For being under investigation from state agencies for alleged criminal and statutory violations concerning the deaths of three patients,
3. For being a wholly owned subsidiary of the Church of Scientology (the Internal Revenue Service said Narconon forms part of the church’s “social betterment program”), and
4. For not revealing that it, in fact, is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Church of Scientology.

UP … Gov. Mary Fallin for urging Creek County residents after August’s wildfires to contact FEMA. “Doing so,” she said, “will help to support the case for additional federal assistance for the many Oklahoma families in need.”

Snarky comments aside about Republicans and FEMA (CNN reported the House GOP voted to cut the agency’s budget by 55 percent in 2012), the governor did the right thing by asking the federal government for help. The idea of a common good, a commonwealth, still makes sense in a country that seemingly needs to be reminded every 12.87 seconds that we are all in this together.



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