The last word

Look at me. Look at me.



Connie Cronley, Iron Gate executive director, with guests Tony, Margaret and Rodney (front).

1. Laurence Olivier said that when he made a stage entrance, he imagined himself carrying a pink umbrella. He thought that helped call the audience’s attention to him. That’s because actors want people to look at them when they’re on stage.

2. When television was becoming popular, white shirts created a glare, so men were asked to wear pastel dress shirts. Soon, lots of men were wearing pastel dress shirts so that other people would think that they, too, were appearing on television.

3. I like the joke about a redneck’s last words: “Hey, watch this!”

4. I hate Facebook.

What do these four things have in common?  Some vague theory I’m developing about our desperate need for attention. We are so far beyond a celebrity culture; that seems as antiquated as women in ancient Greece collecting the perspiration of famous gladiators. Or as primitive as eating the flesh of fierce warriors.

No, what we’re after now is individual celebrity. Not just 15 minutes of fame but daily, constant chattering, clamoring for attention like a 2-year-old child.

When I caved into peer pressure and signed up on Facebook, one of the first messages was from a person reporting to everybody, “I just ate a peanut butter sandwich and am going to bed.”

This stop-the-presses report cooled me forever on Facebook. Or, perhaps, it implanted the fear that I, too, would succumb to such innocuous posts. This is the opposite of a lesson I learned the hard way: Two things not to do after drinking too much wine are trim your own hair or e-mail people what you’re really thinking.

Brooding over this craving to be in the public eye led me to thinking about eye contact in general and its complexities — the different connotations, implications and plain-old misunderstandings. There’s even a polysyllabic word for the study of eye contact in nonverbal communication: oculesics.

Supposedly, when my cat looks at me and blinks slowly, it means that she loves me. But if I blink slowly at another human, it means that I’m either disinterested or sleepy. Whereas if I blink excessively, it could mean that I’m flirting, stressed or lying. Or, I suppose, all of the above.

Not making eye contact could mean lying, too, or guilt. I think of this when I’m trying to explain something to somebody and look away to gather my thoughts. “Uh, oh,” I remind myself and snap back to eye contact so sincere it’s bug-eyed. This is equally disconcerting to the other person. No wonder I find myself often misunderstood.

It’s hard work, eye contact. Looking too long at someone — akin to staring — can be rude, creepy or threatening, as in, “What are you looking at?”

Unless we smile when we look at the other person, which can be interpreted as friendly. Unless we’re in France, where smiling at someone we don’t know suggests to the reserved French that we are simpletons.

Eye contact in other cultures can mean entirely other things. In an Argentine tango club, a woman stares at a man to convey, “Ask me to dance. And I mean only dance.” Whereas in Japan, a woman who does not make eye contact can be considered polite and proper. Same thing for some traditional American Indians and for a couple of ex-cons I know.

My day job is at a soup kitchen, where I learned that homeless people say one of the most painful things about being homeless is becoming invisible. People don’t look at them. Maybe the people think they will embarrass the homeless. Maybe they’re afraid they will be asked for money. Strangers look away or even cross the street to avoid the homeless.

So I started taking photographs of the people who eat at the soup kitchen, but always with their permission. We put the pictures on the bulletin board. We print the photos in newsletters and brochures and run them in our online eNews. It’s our way of saying, “We see you. You’re a person.”

Sometimes the homeless ask for a copy of the photo to send to a mother for a holiday, to a fiancé in prison or to friends far away.

Sometimes they want the photo for themselves. Same reason we all want pictures of ourselves. It’s not look-at-me ego. The photo reminds us: I’m here.

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June 2019

The Museum’s Dickinson Research Center is home to more than 700,000 photographs, 44,000 books, and perhaps unexpectedly, at least 1,000 horses. Meet some of the herd in Horseplay, the new...

Cost: $12.50 adult entry

Where:
National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum
1700 NE 63rd Street
Oklahoma City, OK  73111
View map »

More information

Then, Here/Now: Creating Community in the Center is a group exhibition that illuminates the histories and presence/presents of LGBTQIA+ art collectives and projects that help to ensure visibility...

Cost: Free

Where:
Living Arts of Tulsa
307 East M. B. Brady St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Telephone: 918-585-1234
Website »

More information

BROKEN ARROW COMMUNITY PLAYHOUSE Presents “Godspell” 2012 Revised Version Conceived and Originally Directed by JOHN-MICHAEL TEBELAK MUSIC AND NEW LYRICS BY STEPHEN SCHWARTZ Originally...

Cost: $13-$18

Where:
Broken Arrow Community Playhouse
1800 S. Main St.
Broken Arrow, OK  74012
View map »


Sponsor: Broken Arrow Community Playhouse
Telephone: 918-258-0077
Contact Name: Broken Arrow Community Playhouse
Website »

More information

Where:
Los Cabos - Broken Arrow
151 Bass Pro Dr
Broken Arrow, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
Los Cabos - Jenks
300 Riverwalk Terrace
Jenks, OK
View map »


Website »

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Where:
Hodges Bend
823 E 3rd St
Tulsa, OK
View map »

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Where:
Guthrie Green
111 E Reconciliation Way
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

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Cost: $5

Where:
Mercury Lounge
1747 S Boston Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

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Where:
Hard Rock Casino - Track 5.
777 W Cherokee St
Catoosa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
The Colony
2809 S Harvard Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Celebrate the life of James Joyce with readings, drinks, Irish music, and giveaways.

Where:
Downtown Tulsa
Tulsa, OK


Website »

More information

Help DVIS and the Tulsa Drillers knock out violence! We are in our 16th year of raising funds for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Join us by pledging per home run or making a...

Cost: $1+

Where:
Tulsa, OK


Sponsor: DVIS
Telephone: 918-508-2709
Contact Name: Jenée Day
Website »

More information

Where:
Soundpony
409 N Brady St
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
Rabbit Hole Bar & Grill
116 S Elgin Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »

More information

Show More...
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The Museum’s Dickinson Research Center is home to more than 700,000 photographs, 44,000 books, and perhaps unexpectedly, at least 1,000 horses. Meet some of the herd in Horseplay, the new...

Cost: $12.50 adult entry

Where:
National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum
1700 NE 63rd Street
Oklahoma City, OK  73111
View map »

More information

The Please Touch the Art exhibit breaks the rules of traditional art exhibits and makes art accessible, especially for visitors who are visually impaired or blind. Guests are encouraged to touch...

Cost: free & open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Community College
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Armstrong

More information

Then, Here/Now: Creating Community in the Center is a group exhibition that illuminates the histories and presence/presents of LGBTQIA+ art collectives and projects that help to ensure visibility...

Cost: Free

Where:
Living Arts of Tulsa
307 East M. B. Brady St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Telephone: 918-585-1234
Website »

More information

Think you can't do something? Think again! Step out of your comfort zone and try something new at the I Can't workshops this summer, featuring all new community partners.

Cost: Free & open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74119
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Community College
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Armstrong
Website »

More information

Magi 4 Christ Campers meet each Monday at 6:00 PM until 7:30 PM. At 4241 S. 37th W. Ave., Tulsa, OK. 74107.  We are a Christian group of camping enthusiasts. We are family friendly. Meeting...

Cost: Donations only

Where:
Hope House
4241 S. 37th W. Ave.
South Door Activity Center
Tulsa, OK  74107
View map »


Sponsor: Magi 4 Christ Campers
Telephone: 918-906-0564
Contact Name: Dorothy Brown

More information

OKPOP, a project of the Oklahoma Historical Society, is planning a special event to mark Juneteenth on Monday, June 17, from 7-8 p.m. at the Rudisill Regional Library, located at 1520 N. Hartford...

Cost: Free

Where:
Rudisill Regional Library
1520 N. Hartford Ave.
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Sponsor: OKPOP
Telephone: 405-326-1545
Website »

More information

Help DVIS and the Tulsa Drillers knock out violence! We are in our 16th year of raising funds for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Join us by pledging per home run or making a...

Cost: $1+

Where:
Tulsa, OK


Sponsor: DVIS
Telephone: 918-508-2709
Contact Name: Jenée Day
Website »

More information

Where:
The Colony
2809 S Harvard Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
Blackbird on Pearl
1336 E 6th St
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

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Where:
Soundpony
409 N Brady St
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

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Where:
Juicemaker Lounge
3508 S Sheridan Rd
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

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Where:
Hodges Bend
823 E 3rd St
Tulsa, OK
View map »

More information

Where:
Mercury Lounge
1747 S Boston Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
Rabbit Hole Bar & Grill
116 S Elgin Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

The Museum’s Dickinson Research Center is home to more than 700,000 photographs, 44,000 books, and perhaps unexpectedly, at least 1,000 horses. Meet some of the herd in Horseplay, the new...

Cost: $12.50 adult entry

Where:
National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum
1700 NE 63rd Street
Oklahoma City, OK  73111
View map »

More information

The Please Touch the Art exhibit breaks the rules of traditional art exhibits and makes art accessible, especially for visitors who are visually impaired or blind. Guests are encouraged to touch...

Cost: free & open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Community College
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Armstrong

More information

Then, Here/Now: Creating Community in the Center is a group exhibition that illuminates the histories and presence/presents of LGBTQIA+ art collectives and projects that help to ensure visibility...

Cost: Free

Where:
Living Arts of Tulsa
307 East M. B. Brady St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Telephone: 918-585-1234
Website »

More information

Help DVIS and the Tulsa Drillers knock out violence! We are in our 16th year of raising funds for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Join us by pledging per home run or making a...

Cost: $1+

Where:
Tulsa, OK


Sponsor: DVIS
Telephone: 918-508-2709
Contact Name: Jenée Day
Website »

More information

Where:
The Colony
2809 S Harvard Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
Blackbird on Pearl
1336 E 6th St
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
The Colony
2809 S Harvard Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

The classic musical about maintaining cultural identity against encroaching influences features several Broadway hits, including Sunrise, Sunset, If I Were a Rich Man, and Matchmaker, Matchmaker.

Cost: $40-$85

Where:
Tulsa PAC - Chapman Music Hall
110 E 2nd St
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
Lefty's On Greenwood
10 N Greenwood Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »

More information

Where:
Guthrie Green
111 E Reconciliation Way
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
Gypsy Coffee House
303 N MLK Jr Blvd
Tulsa, OK
View map »

More information

Cost: SOLD OUT

Where:
Hard Rock Casino - The Joint
777 W Cherokee St
Catoosa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Where:
Mercury Lounge
1747 S Boston Ave
Tulsa, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

The Museum’s Dickinson Research Center is home to more than 700,000 photographs, 44,000 books, and perhaps unexpectedly, at least 1,000 horses. Meet some of the herd in Horseplay, the new...

Cost: $12.50 adult entry

Where:
National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum
1700 NE 63rd Street
Oklahoma City, OK  73111
View map »

More information

The Please Touch the Art exhibit breaks the rules of traditional art exhibits and makes art accessible, especially for visitors who are visually impaired or blind. Guests are encouraged to touch...

Cost: free & open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Community College
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Armstrong

More information

Then, Here/Now: Creating Community in the Center is a group exhibition that illuminates the histories and presence/presents of LGBTQIA+ art collectives and projects that help to ensure visibility...

Cost: Free

Where:
Living Arts of Tulsa
307 East M. B. Brady St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Telephone: 918-585-1234
Website »

More information

Every Wednesday Live Event Trivia is at The Willows Family Ales - Show starts at 7 and is free to play! Movie scenes, Finish the Lyric, Classic Trivia, and more! The crew from T-Town Tacos will be...

Cost: Free

Where:
The Willows Family Ales
418 south peoria ave
tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Sponsor: The Willows Family Ales
Telephone: (918) 895-6798
Contact Name: Julian Morgan
Website »

More information

Help DVIS and the Tulsa Drillers knock out violence! We are in our 16th year of raising funds for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Join us by pledging per home run or making a...

Cost: $1+

Where:
Tulsa, OK


Sponsor: DVIS
Telephone: 918-508-2709
Contact Name: Jenée Day
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

The Museum’s Dickinson Research Center is home to more than 700,000 photographs, 44,000 books, and perhaps unexpectedly, at least 1,000 horses. Meet some of the herd in Horseplay, the new...

Cost: $12.50 adult entry

Where:
National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum
1700 NE 63rd Street
Oklahoma City, OK  73111
View map »

More information

Join Tulsa City-County Library’s Imagination Station for stories and songs in the park. Bring a blanket or a lawn chair. Afterward, cool off in the splash pad. Sponsored by the Tulsa Library...

Cost: Free

Where:
QuikTrip Plaza
41st and Riverside
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: river parks
Telephone: 918-596-2008
Contact Name: Ryan Howell

More information

The Please Touch the Art exhibit breaks the rules of traditional art exhibits and makes art accessible, especially for visitors who are visually impaired or blind. Guests are encouraged to touch...

Cost: free & open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Community College
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Armstrong

More information

Then, Here/Now: Creating Community in the Center is a group exhibition that illuminates the histories and presence/presents of LGBTQIA+ art collectives and projects that help to ensure visibility...

Cost: Free

Where:
Living Arts of Tulsa
307 East M. B. Brady St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Telephone: 918-585-1234
Website »

More information

Please join us at Living Arts for a panel discussion with the Mental Health Association of Oklahoma, along with Tulsa Artist Fellow Edgar Fabián Frías and Amanda Lowe of Camp Fire...

Cost: Free and open to the public.

Where:
Living Arts of Tulsa
307 E. M. B. Brady St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Sponsor: Living Arts of Tulsa
Telephone: 918-585-1234
Website »

More information

Paws & Pictures: Tulsa SPCA Drive-In Movie Night promises a night of family- and pet-friendly fun followed by two drive-in feature films when the sun goes down. All proceeds benefit the Tulsa SPCA...

Cost: $7 for adults; $3 for kids under 12

Where:
Admiral Twin Drive-In
7355 E. Easton
Tulsa, OK  74115
View map »

More information

Third Thursdays in the Rainbow Room closes out its first season with Tulsa musical theatre veterans Pat Hobbs and John Orsulak in their two-man cabaret, “NEXTS!” Pat and John take the audience...

Cost: $15 Bistro / $10 GA

Where:
Lynn Riggs Theatre at OKEQ
621 East 4th St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Sponsor: OKEQ / Pat Hobbs
Telephone: 918-637-25866
Contact Name: Pat Hobbs
Website »

More information

The Collinsville Chamber of Commerce is bringing back their much-anticipated Outdoor Summer Movies for a sixth year this summer. The movies will take place Thursday evenings in June at the...

Cost: Free

Where:
Collinsville City Plaza
12th and Main Street
Collinsville, OK  74021
View map »


Sponsor: Collinsville Chamber of Commerce
Telephone: 918-371-4703
Contact Name: Megan Edwards
Website »

More information

Help DVIS and the Tulsa Drillers knock out violence! We are in our 16th year of raising funds for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Join us by pledging per home run or making a...

Cost: $1+

Where:
Tulsa, OK


Sponsor: DVIS
Telephone: 918-508-2709
Contact Name: Jenée Day
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

The Museum’s Dickinson Research Center is home to more than 700,000 photographs, 44,000 books, and perhaps unexpectedly, at least 1,000 horses. Meet some of the herd in Horseplay, the new...

Cost: $12.50 adult entry

Where:
National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum
1700 NE 63rd Street
Oklahoma City, OK  73111
View map »

More information

The Please Touch the Art exhibit breaks the rules of traditional art exhibits and makes art accessible, especially for visitors who are visually impaired or blind. Guests are encouraged to touch...

Cost: free & open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Community College
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Armstrong

More information

Then, Here/Now: Creating Community in the Center is a group exhibition that illuminates the histories and presence/presents of LGBTQIA+ art collectives and projects that help to ensure visibility...

Cost: Free

Where:
Living Arts of Tulsa
307 East M. B. Brady St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Telephone: 918-585-1234
Website »

More information

Celebrate the summer solstice by ending the longest day of the year at the Garden! Stroll in the Garden as the sun sets. Coffee House on Your Street food truck will be selling food/snacks and OK...

Cost: $10 for Garden members; $15 for non-members.

Where:
Tulsa Botanic Garden
3900 Tulsa Botanic Drive
Tulsa, OK  74127
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Botanic Garden
Telephone: 918-289-0330
Contact Name: Lori
Website »

More information

Help DVIS and the Tulsa Drillers knock out violence! We are in our 16th year of raising funds for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Join us by pledging per home run or making a...

Cost: $1+

Where:
Tulsa, OK


Sponsor: DVIS
Telephone: 918-508-2709
Contact Name: Jenée Day
Website »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

Cheer & Gears Auto Show will be Saturday, June 22 at the Charles Page High School parking lot, 500 N Adams Road in Sand Springs, Oklahoma. All makes, models and years of cars, trucks, Rat Rods...

Cost: FREE

Where:
Charles Page High School
500 N Adams Rd
Sand Springs, OK  74063
View map »


Contact Name: CPHS Varsity Cheer
Website »

More information

Join us for our biggest antique event of the year! Shop over 200 booths of antiques, collectibles, memorabilia, vintage, retro, crafts, and more, plus the Tulsa Antique and Bottle Club's annual...

Cost: Free admission

Where:
River Spirit Expo at Expo Square
4145 E. 21st St.
Tulsa, OK  74112
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Flea Market
Telephone: 918-744-1386
Website »

More information

Featuring more than seventy works by French and European masters such as Degas, Manet, Monet, Rousseau and Van Gogh, this exhibition celebrates Mr. and Mrs. Paul Mellon’s extraordinary gift...

Cost: $15

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Drive
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: (405) 236-3100
Website »

More information

The Museum’s Dickinson Research Center is home to more than 700,000 photographs, 44,000 books, and perhaps unexpectedly, at least 1,000 horses. Meet some of the herd in Horseplay, the new...

Cost: $12.50 adult entry

Where:
National Cowboy & Western Heritage Museum
1700 NE 63rd Street
Oklahoma City, OK  73111
View map »

More information

Join us on Saturday, June 22 from 10AM - 8PM in the wonderful Kendall Whittier Square at Admiral and Lewis. More than 40 local makers will be there to show off their talents and their wares!...

Cost: free

Where:
Whittier Square
Admiral and Lewis
Tulsa, OK  74104
View map »


Sponsor: 918Makers
Contact Name: Sarah Bowen
Website »

More information

Then, Here/Now: Creating Community in the Center is a group exhibition that illuminates the histories and presence/presents of LGBTQIA+ art collectives and projects that help to ensure visibility...

Cost: Free

Where:
Living Arts of Tulsa
307 East M. B. Brady St.
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Telephone: 918-585-1234
Website »

More information

Head down to Sweets & Cream on Saturday, June 22 for our PRIDE PARTY! Music, photo ops and specialty rainbow sugar cookies! This month's Tips for Charity partner is the Tulsa Dennis R....

Cost: FREE

Where:
Sweets & Cream
1114 S Yale Avenue
Tulsa, OK  74120
View map »


Sponsor: Sweets & Cream
Telephone: 918-633-3182
Contact Name: Lori Moore
Website »

More information

Gathering Place is bringing the tropics to Tulsa with the signature event, Caribbean Vibes, Saturday, June 22. Spend your Saturday on island time with a day packed full of Caribbean music, dance,...

Cost: Free

Where:
Gathering Place
2650 S. John Williams Way E.
Tulsa, OK  74114
View map »

More information

Mallets & Moonlight is an exclusive fundraising event in Tulsa, Oklahoma featuring a Polo match, live music by Banana Seat, dancing, endless Hors’ doeuvres, complimentary bar and...

Cost: $500

Where:
Mohawk Park
5701 East 36th St N
Tulsa, OK  74115
View map »


Sponsor: The Center for Individuals with Physical Challenges
Telephone: 918-794-4514
Contact Name: Victoria Ladd
Website »

More information

America’s LARGEST interactive comedy murder mystery dinner show is now playing at the Hilton Garden Inn Tulsa Broken Arrow! At The Dinner Detective, you’ll tackle a challenging crime while you...

Cost: 59.95

Where:
Hilton Garden Inn Tulsa- Broken Arrow
420 W Albany St.
Broken Arrow, OK  74012
View map »


Telephone: 866-496-0535
Contact Name: The Dinner Detective
Website »

More information

Come dressed in your favorite tropical evening attire and enjoy   • A delicious Caribbean Dinner • Tropical Rum Drinks and 2 Open Cash Bars • Music and Entertainment •...

Cost: 50.00 Individual

Where:
810 Ranch & Cattle Co.
800 N Country Club Road
Muskogee, OK  74403
View map »


Sponsor: Kelly B Todd Cerebral Palsy and Neuro-Muscular Center
Telephone: 918-683-4621
Contact Name: Sharon the Riggs
Website »

More information

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Where:
, OK


Website »

More information

Help DVIS and the Tulsa Drillers knock out violence! We are in our 16th year of raising funds for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Join us by pledging per home run or making a...

Cost: $1+

Where:
Tulsa, OK


Sponsor: DVIS
Telephone: 918-508-2709
Contact Name: Jenée Day
Website »

More information

Where:
Ninowski Rec Center
1367 E 71st St
Broken Arrow, OK
View map »


Website »

More information

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