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Winners, losers and the rest of us
Both come with gas. On Old Keystone Road, west of Tulsa, sits a convenience store with the cautionary name Tank-N-Tummy.
Random Oklahoma reference In the November/December issue of AARP The Magazine, actor Ed Harris said his most embarrassing job was modeling tuxedos at the 1971 Oklahoma State Fair. I would have gone with his work in “Milk Money.”
Smug automobile dealership billboard: Chris Nikel’s Autohaus for … “We’ll see you this year.”
“Like I never thought of that” direct-mail piece: Church on the Move for its marriage workshop and the phrase …
“It’s time to get out of your old marriage and into a marriage that works.”
Voice 1: “Ouch!”
Voice 2: “What happened?”
Voice 1: “Oh … Keith hurt himself again.”
When last we left Keith Ballard, Tulsa Public Schools superintendent, he had inadvertently doused himself with nonalcoholic champagne while christening a new school bus. Now we get word that he slipped outside his home after January’s snow and fractured his collarbone. Maybe it’s time to keep him away from the Bunsen burners.
The only way Louisiana can regain the top spot is by requiring women considering abortions to wear aprons, bonnets and scarlet letters. While our New Year’s resolution was to stop commenting on Top 10 lists, our At Large Polling Bureau couldn’t resist.
Americans United for Life placed Oklahoma at the top of its 2011 “Life List,” citing last year’s passage of state laws restricting abortions, such as the one that forces women to have ultrasounds before going through with the procedure.
Louisiana, which finished first in 2010, was runner-up.
Eavesdroppings: After discovering an interview subject was making $5 million per year in salary and stock options, a Tulsa reporter mused, “Sometimes I think I should have gotten a real job.”
Forgery, kickbacks, asset manipulation, embezzlement — party of four, your table’s ready. One of the first acts undertaken by John Doak, Oklahoma’s new Republican insurance commissioner, was firing six of the nine investigators in the anti-fraud unit. His deputy, Randy Brogdon (yes, that Randy Brogdon), says the commissioner’s office should only investigate claims of egregious fraud and not the penny-ante disputes.
Fair enough. THEN USE THE FULL STAFF FOR THE BAD STUFF! What, does Brogdon believe there’s not enough serious criminality in Oklahoma to keep nine investigators busy? Meanwhile, Doak says the layoffs will save about $323,000 per year, a substantial sum; unfortunately, he also hired three former legislators as deputy commissioners, all Republicans, at $99,000 per year, or about $297,000.
The New York Times, The Economist and Der Spiegel are free online, but The Daily O’Collegian is going to cost you. You may find the Sudoku puzzles and apartment listings well worth the cost, but just know that if you move to, say, Oahu and want to read up on the new event stratigraphy and paleontology professor or track Cowgirl equestrian results, the online version of OSU’s student newspaper, The O’Colly, is now $10 per year for non-OSU students and non-Stillwater residents.
Rule 114 During a prolonged winter storm, male meteorologists in Tulsa will:
- Appear on air with ties askew — 63 percent
- Appear with a day’s worth of stubble — 21.5 percent
- Appear with both — 14 percent
- Not make it into work — 1.5 percent.
Ups and downs
UP: Sen. Tom Coburn. The senator has appeared in “Ups and downs” more times than Porter Wagoner appeared at the Grand Ole Opry; nevertheless, he’s here again with an “up” arrow for being one of the first to cross the aisle and sit with a Democrat (in this case, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer) during the State of the Union address.
P.S. The president was right. The beard wasn’t working.
DOWN: TU Athletic Director Bubba Cunningham … for not giving Steve Kragthorpe an interview. You’re not still angry he left for Louisville, are you? Considering what he did for the program and what he’s been through lately, he deserved lunch at the Faculty Club. Incidentally, this is the same approach Judy MacLeod took when she refused to even call Nolan Richardson before hiring Doug Wojcik. Richardson’s name would be on the Reynolds Center floor in bold cursive by now if she had called him.
DOWN: … Rep. Dan Boren for being one of only three Democrats to vote for repeal of the health care bill. The legislation, it should be noted, prohibits insurance companies from denying coverage to those with pre-existing conditions, closes the donut hole for seniors and allows young people up to the age of 26 to be covered on their parents’ plans. And it should be noted because Boren told KOTV’s Terry Hood last year, “I’m not for repealing the pre-existing condition issue. I’m not for repealing, you know, some of the good portions of the bill.” You mean, Congressman, like those parts you voted to repeal?
