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From animals to city employees, “Where’s the love, Tulsa?”
How unlucky can you get?
After State Rep. Lucky Lamons (D-Tulsa) failed to include his involvement in three separate Tulsa Police Department Internal Affairs investigations on his application to become U.S. marshal in Tulsa, his nomination was dropped. Said Lamons of the oversight, “I take full responsibility,” adding, “I trust God must have another plan for me and my family.”
Fine, but what if that was God’s plan for him? And what if God is thinking, “What does he mean ‘another’? How many does he think I’ve got here?”
Remember, kids, if it snows, “Dad’ll drive you.”
Our At Large media ombudsman nearly drove his Don Carlton Honda (Ask for Mo) into Rick’s Cafe Americain (Try his award-winning fried chicken!) when he saw that KJRH was pimping out its sponsorship of school closings last January to Jim Norton Chevrolet.
When they refitted the toilets so you didn’t have to actually flush them … that was news! This? Eh.
It was announced that Wi-Fi will be available at Tulsa International Airport.
Social media unleashed!
A Bishop Kelley student, after losing her telephone and e-mail contacts, started a Facebook page called I NEED YOUR NUMBERS BITCHES.
At Large “Did you know?”
There’s a performing arts group in New York City called “Nature Theatre of Oklahoma.”
“You hear something, Bambi?”
“Nope.”
One of the reasons given for supporting a bill allowing Oklahoma hunters to use silencers is that it would protect their hearing.
Of course, it would also help if the animals they shoot would stop screaming and yelping.
Hmmmm … road, cars. Fascinating.
Why was Rep. Mary Fallin (R-Oklahoma City) in Tulsa to tour the progress on the Inner Dispersal Loop construction? Her congressional district is 100 miles away. Where were John Sullivan and Dan Boren, our actual representatives? Perhaps they figured, unlike Fallin, they’d look really goofy in the orange vests, self-consciously pointing at road pylons.
Just in time for the end of summer ...
It was announced that a new restaurant, Elwood’s, will open at the location of the old Rivers Edge Bistro and Café Aug. 25, after renovation is completed March 1.
“It’s all happening,” Elwood’s owner Tom Dittus said. “Everyone is busy.”
Perhaps, but with 178 days from the pounding of the last nail to the pounding of the first frozen margarita, we’re thinking they’re not that busy.
Eavesdroppings
“San Antonio? What were you doing in that cow town?” — asked a Tulsa waitress.
Drive 90. Freeze an environmentalist.
A headline in last month’s Tulsa World read, “Hydrocarbons: Tulsa’s Future.”
Wonderful.
In extolling fossil fuels, a former chairman of the Okla-homa Independent Petroleum Association said,
“People get overwrought with ideas that the green stuff will save the world.”
That’s right — the green stuff.
Dumb Greediest Criminal of the Month
A Tulsa gambler, who made more than $437,000, was ordered to pay the IRS nearly $250,000 in back taxes.
Not for nothing, Tony, but you make almost half a mil placing illegal bets and you won’t give the government a little taste? Just put it under “Miscellaneous” income and file a return.
Since his arrest, however, Slicker has, according to his attorney, “gone straighter than an arrow.”
Oh, please, a reformed bookie. Double the fine.
“ … B … X … Q. I got it! What do I win?”
Mattress World recalled 750 mattress/box spring sets last month, some sold in Oklahoma, because they may pose a fire hazard.
There were specific models, such as the MWFOBXQ, but be smart. Our At Large somnologist advises that if even six of the letters match, go sleep on the sofa.
The sets were priced between $35 and $105.
What do you want for that price? A restful slumber and the security of knowing you won’t be engulfed in flames?
Ups and downs
DOWN Carol and Doug Pielsticker, Joseph Mowry, Arrow Truck Lines.
UP Kristina Addington and Brittany Hagerty, the “Lettuce Ladies,” for wearing bikinis during a 2-degree January day in downtown Tulsa to promote a vegan lifestyle. Now that’s commitment.
UP Samburu, the only remaining giraffe at the Tulsa Zoo. Considering that one giraffe died from hypothermia and the other from a broken neck, we say: Stay warm, buddy, and watch your head.
SIDEWAYS Non-sworn city employees who voted to lay off co-workers rather than take individual pay cuts. Either,
A) A difficult, soul-wrenching choice made by those who have already sacrificed, or
B) Heartless bastards.
