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PrintBarry Friedman at large
The world didn’t end, though sometimes it felt like it.
Thoughts on the Rapture, Part 1 To anyone who decided not to quit his or her job because of last-minute doubts the world would actually end, good call.
And, Tom, return the keg so I don’t lose the deposit, OK? Sen. Tom Coburn is famous for saying no, but when former Sen. John Ensign, a C Street House roommate, asked if together they could keep the husband of Ensign’s mistress quiet, Coburn said, “Yes, we can.”
According to the Senate Select Committee on Ethics, though, Ensign not only violated federal, civil and criminal laws in both the affair with staffer Cynthia Hampton and subsequent payoffs to her husband, but Coburn also acted as an intermediary in the negotiations — once discussing terms with Doug Hampton’s attorney while sitting on his tractor at his home in Muskogee.
Coburn, whose moral outrage toward others is legendary (see his comments on the sexual peccadilloes of Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich and the nudity in “Schindler’s List”), apparently isn’t as self-critical when arranging hush money and parting gifts to a friend’s mistress’ jilted spouse. Instead of hanging up the phone and mowing, Coburn acted like a fraternity brother who helped get the girl out of the dorm before Parents’ Weekend.
Incidentally, a few days after the Senate issued the report, which he described as “not an accurate reflection of what happened,” Coburn said, “What I did I would do exactly the same way again. And there’s nothing unethical in what we did.”
TMI At the kickoff for Get Lean Tulsa, Mayor Dewey Bartlett said, “This morning I weighed myself. I weighed 206 pounds in boxers.” Bartlett says he wants to lose 20 pounds.
Mr. Mayor, we don’t care if you lose 50 — don’t ever again put an image of you in your underwear out into the universe.
Rule 113: There is only a .044118 percent chance of attending a Tulsa Drillers game at ONEOK Field in 2011 where no promotion is offered.
And in a pizza, the embodiment of two political philosophies The directions on a QuikTrip-brand pizza call for the oven to be set at 460 degrees (not 400 to 450 degrees, which every other frozen pizza in the hemisphere recommends, but precisely 460 degrees) and to be baked for 10 to 14 minutes … or until desired (as if we’d eat something we didn’t).
Such over-regulated government micromanaging about the temperature, such condescending free-market gobbledygook about the time.
Thoughts on the Rapture, Part II Chicago poet Carl Sandburg said, “A baby is God’s opinion the world should go on.” And in the middle of the oval at The University of Tulsa on the exact moment the Rapture was supposed to occur, a couple got married.
Update Two months ago, we noticed a Rolls Royce for sale outside the Wisdom Ministries Center, East 15th Street and South Delaware Avenue. Last month, it was accompanied by a stretch limo … also for sale.
This is getting too easy.
Eavesdropping A restaurateur, when told it might rain the weekend of May 20-22, thus ruining the downtown festivals held that weekend, thus forcing everyone indoors and, arguably, to his restaurant, said, “That would be great.”
More baseball: Why watching a game at ONEOK Field in Tulsa is more enjoyable than RedHawks Field at Bricktown in OKC In Tulsa, a block from the ballpark, you can see a rotating truck on the roof of a building. In OKC, you can see Toby Keith’s restaurant.
Ups and downs
UP … Debra Lookout, from Pawhuska, for winning the National Indian Taco Championship, held in her hometown. Incidentally, the second- and third-place winners also were from Pawhuska. Hmmmmm.
NEUTRAL … Organizers of the National Indian Taco Championship: UP for promoting this incredible concoction; DOWN for not renaming it National “Native American” Taco Championship.
DOWN … Rocky Nail (you read it right) for leading Owasso police on a chase, while driving a tanker truck, which ended in downtown Tulsa, during Mayfest, when officers shot out his tires. Hey, Rock, like Mayfest doesn’t have enough problems with the rain and parking without funnel-cake-eating crowds having to dodge bullets and a runaway tanker.
DOWN … Every member of Oklahoma’s Washington delegation, including Democrat Dan Boren, for not giving President Obama credit for killing Osama Bin Laden. Instead, their statements thanked the soldiers (no argument there), but, really, no mention of the commander in chief? It’s not like some staff sergeant, sitting around the barracks, said: “Hey, I have an idea. Let’s enter a sovereign nation on a Sunday night with two stealth helicopters, shoot Bin Laden in the head, grab the computers and then remove his body and do DNA testing before burying him at sea in accordance with Islamic law. Who’s with me?”
