Barry Friedman At Large

You sure this is what Rodgers and Hammerstein had in mind?

Eavesdroppings

On word the Tulsa Zoo might be sold to a private entity, a woman responded, “You can own a zoo? I want one.”

Might we suggest the obvious:

MOVE! Talk about having a good case for getting out of your lease: A woman’s home in north Tulsa was fired upon for the seventh time last month.

Reasons to mumble when someone asks what state you’re from, Part I

By law, it would only be used if lethal injection is ruled unconstitutional, but Oklahoma still allows death by firing squad.
Imagine: There are states that have only one way to kill people.

Even sexual predators are thinking, “Ewwwwww! Don’t lump us in with them.”

Commenting on a story about an OKC man who harassed women on MySpace, a Tulsan wrote, “Nobody uses MySpace anymore except sexual predators and musicians.”

Why some dogs maul their owners to a bloody pulp

Saw a couple on Riverside, pushing their dog in a … stroller. OK, dismiss my scorn; other dogs are laughing at you. Give your Boston terrier back its dignity and allow it to walk.

Dumb Criminal of the Month

Kevin Clark Frederick, who allegedly groped a female officer who was arresting him. Maybe we shouldn’t judge. We’re all trying to show TPD some love; some just take it literally.

The problem with “they”

Not sure which was worse: the comments of District 6 Councilor Jim Mautino, who, in proposing a local immigration policy, said, “If a house becomes vacant, they strip it,” or those of District 5 Councilor Chris Trail, who said, “Not every Hispanic is an illegal. They are … tax-paying, God-loving citizens of Tulsa.”

Both of you, knock it off: They don’t all strip houses; they don’t all pay taxes and love God.

“Officer, help!” Let me rephrase that: “Tulsa officer, help!”

In the sixth annual Oklahoma State SWAT Games, an event that rates the competency of law enforcement departments, the Tulsa County Sheriff’s Department took first place in hostage rescue.

Great news! But don’t forget to ask your abductor if you can be held locally.

Reasons to mumble when someone asks what state you’re from, Part II

The lead singer of Cross Canadian Ragweed, Cody Canada, was hit in the head with a glass bottle at the 19th annual Calf Fry “Testicle Festival” in Stillwater in April.

… a crime only slightly more troubling than the event.

I’d be happy if someone could get mine to just shut up for an hour or so. Saw a sign on a dental clinic that read Family and Sedation.

Actually, it’s hell reading about it all the time.

Can someone write a story about Nolan Richardson or the Tulsa Shock without mentioning “40 minutes of hell”? We’re begging you.

Rule 11

If you can’t find a discount coupon in Tulsa for tire rotation, tanning or the gun show, you’re not trying hard enough.

The World’s gone mad.

And just like that, his five years of sobriety were gone.

It started when our At Large media watchdog noticed the Tulsa World was allowing ads on its front page and ended with his hand-written note left under a bottle of Cabo Wabo Tequila Blanco.

“I will not watch that page, once the Rubicon between corporate America and the First Amendment, become a yard sign. Well, I won’t watch it sober.”

He then stormed out of the office and went to Sutherlands for garden tools and caulking tips.

Reasons to mumble when someone asks what state you’re from, Part III Miami, Okla., offers an emergency 911 prayer line to ward off … severe weather.

Glenna Longan, Miami’s emergency management coordinator, said, “You need to always be prepared in both the secular and spiritual sense.”

According to Longan, Miami has been spared the worst of Oklahoma weather since the prayer line began.
Which should be a lesson to those communities that haven’t been: See what happens, infidels, when you put all your faith in weather heathens on radio and television?