My greatest regret is a promise I made and haven't kept

It’s January of a new year, and I am torn between welcoming some new resolutions or mourning some old regrets.



Kate Barnard

Courtesy Connie Cronley

 

It’s January of a new year, and I am torn between welcoming some new resolutions or mourning some old regrets.

The resolutions would be new blue-sky aims and projects. These are appealing because they’re shiny and fresh. The regrets would be projects I didn’t complete and promises I didn’t keep. These are old remorses, dusty with age and weary with being hauled out for yet another inspection. They’re tired of my apologies and promises. “Yeah, sure,” they say to me. “Whatever.”

What is the statute of limitations on personal failures? When do we absolve and forgive ourselves and move on? When do we tell ourselves, “You are never going to do that! Let it go. You’re smoking your own dope.”

And yet. How long do we hold ourselves accountable to ourselves? How many times can we say, “Come on, let’s have one more go at it! This time you’ll do it! Don’t give up on yourself. It’s not over till it’s over.” Lots of exclamation marks in these personal pep talks.

I have only 700 words for this column — not nearly enough space to list all my regrets, but the greatest is a promise I made and have not kept. Several years before she died, Oklahoma’s great historian Angie Debo asked me to write the biography of Kate Barnard, who had been her role model. Dr. Debo was my role model, and I not only leapt to agree, I jumped into the project with vigor. I did research everywhere from Oklahoma City’s Department of Libraries to the Washington, D.C. National Archives. I even got a little research grant from the University of Tulsa. I researched, I read, I wrote on this manuscript for about five years.

And then … And then I took a job that consumed my life. And then another job just like it. And the unfinished manuscript — up through chapter seven — is stored in boxes. It’s a project that ought to be completed.

Kate Barnard was an Oklahoma social reformer at the turn of the century. She was the first woman official elected in the state, Oklahoma’s first Commissioner of Charities and Corrections, and she was a national celebrity. Her career was heroic, but her life was tragic.

She championed child labor laws, compulsory education, prison reform, a juvenile court system and aid to the poor. “Her compassion shone like a candle,” Debo said. Barnard was charismatic, eloquent, fearless and idealistic. She spoke to audiences of 4,000 or more, her voice ringing out clearly in that era before amplifications. National press canonized her as the “Good Angel” of Oklahoma. She was a tiny Irish woman who overworked herself into physical collapse. Despite her fame, she was modest and plain.  “How can I wear diamonds when babies cry for bread?” she asked.

And then, at the height of her power, she began investigating fraud among the guardians of the oil-rich Indian orphans of the state. She had gone too far. “She stopped preaching and started meddling,” one politician said. Grafters and corrupt politicians closed ranks against her. They ruined her state department and her career. She died a recluse in 1930 at age 54.

A couple of books have been written about Kate Barnard. My book will be better. I am beginning this new year, not with regrets and remorse, but with a new resolve. I will resurrect my manuscript and keep my promise. I’ll look at the North Star and say, “Dr. Debo, it ain’t over till it’s over.” I won’t beat myself up about this delayed — not broken! — promise. Instead, I’ll remember the wise women and wise cats I’ve known in my life and all I have learned from them. Cats, especially, have taught me a lot about how to live a contented life.

 

A Cat’s Philosophy of Life

Take every day as it comes.

Get some sunshine.

Take a nap and moderate exercise.

Play a little.

Be a keen observer of your environment.

Once in a while, chase something.

When you eat fish, lick your plate clean.

And don’t ever go to bed wondering if you could have done this day better.

This is the secret of being a happy cat, this new year and every year.

 

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July 2018

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Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405-236-3100
Website »

More information

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918-495-6000
Website »

More information

Cost: $30.00 per person

Where:
Tulsa Spotlight Theater
1381 Riverside Drive
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Sponsor: Rachel Horsley
Telephone: 918-891-8334
Website »

More information

August 10th 7pm to 10pm  food from Trencher's Deli and fruit cobblers by Vera Grocery & Drill 

Cost: $30.00 per person

Where:
Tulsa Spotlight Theater
1381 Riverside Drive
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Telephone: 918-891-8334
Contact Name: Rachel Horsley
Website »

More information

August 10th 7pm to 10pm  food from Trencher's Deli and fruit cobblers by Vera Grocery & Drill   Make your reservations today! 918-587-5030

Cost: $30.00 per person

Where:
Tulsa Spotlight Theater
1381 Riverside Drive
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Telephone: 918-891-8334
Contact Name: Rachel Horsley
Website »

More information

Joys To The World, Inc. 3rd Summer Camp Founded in 2015, we are a 501 (c)3 volunteer-based non-profit organization based in Tulsa, OK.  Purpose: Joyfully live life! Mission: Enrich...

Cost: $30/ day, $100/week or $400/full camp

Where:
Tulsa Hills Church
840 W. 81st St.
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: Joys To The World, Inc.
Telephone: 918-282-3191
Contact Name: Jenny Joy
Website »

More information

Joys To The World, Inc. 3rd Summer Camp Founded in 2015, we are a 501 (c)3 volunteer-based non-profit organization based in Tulsa, OK.  Purpose: Joyfully live life! Mission: Enrich...

Cost: $30/ day, $100/week or $400/full camp

Where:
Tulsa Hills Church
840 W. 81st St.
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: Joys To The World, Inc.
Telephone: 918-282-3191
Contact Name: Jenny Joy
Website »

More information

Joys To The World, Inc. 3rd Summer Camp Founded in 2015, we are a 501 (c)3 volunteer-based non-profit organization based in Tulsa, OK.  Purpose: Joyfully live life! Mission: Enrich...

Cost: $30/ day, $100/week or $400/All 4 weeks of camp

Where:
Tulsa Hills Church
840 W. 81st St.
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: Joys To The World, Inc.
Telephone: 918-282-3191
Contact Name: Jenny Joy
Website »

More information

Joys To The World, Inc. 3rd Summer Camp Founded in 2015, we are a 501 (c)3 volunteer-based non-profit organization based in Tulsa, OK.  Purpose: Joyfully live life! Mission: Enrich...

Cost: $30/ day,100/week or 400/full camp

Where:
Tulsa Hills Church
840 W. 81st St.
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: Joys To The World, Inc.
Telephone: 918-282-3191
Contact Name: Jenny Joy
Website »

More information

Crossing borders are central Consuelo J. Underwood’s artistic practice. In this exhibition inspired by land, politics, and spirit, Underwood speaks to her individual understanding of borders...

Cost: Free

Where:
108 Contemporary
108 E Mathew B. Brady St, Tulsa, OK 74103
Tulsa, OK  74103
View map »


Telephone: 191-889-56302

More information

Break the rules of conventional museums at the third annual Please Touch the Art exhibit. Mark your calendars for the opening reception Friday, June 1 from 5 - 9 p.m., in conjunction with the Tulsa...

Cost: free and open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74119
View map »


Sponsor: McKeon Center for Creativity
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Barton

More information

Opera in the Ozarks, the nationally acclaimed summer music festival and training program for top emerging opera professionals, celebrates its 2018 Season from June 22 to July 20 with nearly...

Cost: $25

Where:
Inspiration Point
16311 Hwy. 62 West
Eureka Springs, AR  72632
View map »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

Become a junior marine biologist for a day and get hands-on experience caring for aquatic animals and learning what happens behind-the-scenes of an aquarium. *The program is offered for ages 12-16...

Cost: $100.00 per Child

Where:
Oklahoma Aquarium
300 Aquarium Drive
Jenks, OK  74037
View map »


Telephone: 918-296-FISH
Contact Name: Ann Money
Website »

More information

Isabelle de Borchgrave: Fashioning Art from Paper features the life-size, trompe l’œil paper costumes of Belgian artist Isabelle de Borchgrave (born 1946). Following a...

Cost: $12

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405-236-3100
Website »

More information

The work of renowned artist Christopher Curtis will be featured at Tulsa Botanic Garden’s first sculpture exhibit March 17 through August 26. Curtis works primarily in stone and he often...

Cost: FREE for Garden members; $8 ages 13+, $4 ages 3-12. Kids 2 and under free

Where:
Tulsa Botanic Garden
3900 Tulsa Botanic Drive
Tulsa, OK  74127
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Botanic Garden
Telephone: 918-289-0330
Contact Name: Lori Hutson
Website »

More information

Opening to the public on Thursday, Nov. 16, the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Website »

More information

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918-495-6000
Website »

More information

Joys To The World, Inc. 3rd Summer Camp Founded in 2015, we are a 501 (c)3 volunteer-based non-profit organization based in Tulsa, OK.  Purpose: Joyfully live life! Mission: Enrich...

Cost: $30/ day, $100/week or $400/full camp

Where:
Tulsa Hills Church
840 W. 81st St.
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: Joys To The World, Inc.
Telephone: 918-282-3191
Contact Name: Jenny Joy
Website »

More information

Joys To The World, Inc. 3rd Summer Camp Founded in 2015, we are a 501 (c)3 volunteer-based non-profit organization based in Tulsa, OK.  Purpose: Joyfully live life! Mission: Enrich...

Cost: $30/ day, $100/week or $400/full camp

Where:
Tulsa Hills Church
840 W. 81st St.
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: Joys To The World, Inc.
Telephone: 918-282-3191
Contact Name: Jenny Joy
Website »

More information

Joys To The World, Inc. 3rd Summer Camp Founded in 2015, we are a 501 (c)3 volunteer-based non-profit organization based in Tulsa, OK.  Purpose: Joyfully live life! Mission: Enrich...

Cost: $30/ day, $100/week or $400/All 4 weeks of camp

Where:
Tulsa Hills Church
840 W. 81st St.
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: Joys To The World, Inc.
Telephone: 918-282-3191
Contact Name: Jenny Joy
Website »

More information

Joys To The World, Inc. 3rd Summer Camp Founded in 2015, we are a 501 (c)3 volunteer-based non-profit organization based in Tulsa, OK.  Purpose: Joyfully live life! Mission: Enrich...

Cost: $30/ day,100/week or 400/full camp

Where:
Tulsa Hills Church
840 W. 81st St.
Tulsa, OK  74132
View map »


Sponsor: Joys To The World, Inc.
Telephone: 918-282-3191
Contact Name: Jenny Joy
Website »

More information

Crossing borders are central Consuelo J. Underwood’s artistic practice. In this exhibition inspired by land, politics, and spirit, Underwood speaks to her individual understanding of borders...

Cost: Free

Where:
108 Contemporary
108 E Mathew B. Brady St, Tulsa, OK 74103
Tulsa, OK  74103
View map »


Telephone: 191-889-56302

More information

Break the rules of conventional museums at the third annual Please Touch the Art exhibit. Mark your calendars for the opening reception Friday, June 1 from 5 - 9 p.m., in conjunction with the Tulsa...

Cost: free and open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74119
View map »


Sponsor: McKeon Center for Creativity
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Barton

More information

Tequila Ladies’ Night Out Thursday, July 19 $29.95 per person Plus cocktails:  $6.95 each or a flight of 4 for $25  Plus Tax & Gratuity    ...

Cost: $29.95

Where:
The Melting Pot Restaurant
300 Riverwalk Terrace
Suite 190
Jenks, OK  74037
View map »


Sponsor: The Melting Pot of Tulsa
Telephone: 918-299-8000
Contact Name: Becky Chapman
Website »

More information

Opera in the Ozarks, the nationally acclaimed summer music festival and training program for top emerging opera professionals, celebrates its 2018 Season from June 22 to July 20 with nearly...

Cost: $25

Where:
Inspiration Point
16311 Hwy. 62 West
Eureka Springs, AR  72632
View map »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

Become a junior marine biologist for a day and get hands-on experience caring for aquatic animals and learning what happens behind-the-scenes of an aquarium. *The program is offered for ages 12-16...

Cost: $100.00 per Child

Where:
Oklahoma Aquarium
300 Aquarium Drive
Jenks, OK  74037
View map »


Telephone: 918-296-FISH
Contact Name: Ann Money
Website »

More information

Opening to the public on Thursday, Nov. 16, the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Website »

More information

The work of renowned artist Christopher Curtis will be featured at Tulsa Botanic Garden’s first sculpture exhibit March 17 through August 26. Curtis works primarily in stone and he often...

Cost: FREE for Garden members; $8 ages 13+, $4 ages 3-12. Kids 2 and under free

Where:
Tulsa Botanic Garden
3900 Tulsa Botanic Drive
Tulsa, OK  74127
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Botanic Garden
Telephone: 918-289-0330
Contact Name: Lori Hutson
Website »

More information

Isabelle de Borchgrave: Fashioning Art from Paper features the life-size, trompe l’œil paper costumes of Belgian artist Isabelle de Borchgrave (born 1946). Following a...

Cost: $12

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405-236-3100
Website »

More information

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918-495-6000
Website »

More information

Crossing borders are central Consuelo J. Underwood’s artistic practice. In this exhibition inspired by land, politics, and spirit, Underwood speaks to her individual understanding of borders...

Cost: Free

Where:
108 Contemporary
108 E Mathew B. Brady St, Tulsa, OK 74103
Tulsa, OK  74103
View map »


Telephone: 191-889-56302

More information

Break the rules of conventional museums at the third annual Please Touch the Art exhibit. Mark your calendars for the opening reception Friday, June 1 from 5 - 9 p.m., in conjunction with the Tulsa...

Cost: free and open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74119
View map »


Sponsor: McKeon Center for Creativity
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Barton

More information

Escaping The Ordinary Vol. 4 Compilation Release Show at The Vanguard. For more information on ETO, visit escapingtheordinary.net/events/ Hosted by: Ty Griffin of Escaping The Ordinary and Joey...

Cost: Free

Where:
The Vanguard
222 North Main Street
Tulsa, OK  74103
View map »

More information

There are so many cool places to spend the night in the Oklahoma Aquarium beyond our shark tunnel, so we’ve expanded our popular Sleep with the Sharks events to include all kinds of ZZZs in...

Cost: Contact for pricing

Where:
Oklahoma Aquarium
300 Aquarium Drive
Jenks, OK  74037
View map »


Telephone: 918-296-3474
Contact Name: Kara Lovell
Website »

More information

Opera in the Ozarks, the nationally acclaimed summer music festival and training program for top emerging opera professionals, celebrates its 2018 Season from June 22 to July 20 with nearly...

Cost: $25

Where:
Inspiration Point
16311 Hwy. 62 West
Eureka Springs, AR  72632
View map »

More information

Show More...
Show Less...

Become a junior marine biologist for a day and get hands-on experience caring for aquatic animals and learning what happens behind-the-scenes of an aquarium. *The program is offered for ages 12-16...

Cost: $100.00 per Child

Where:
Oklahoma Aquarium
300 Aquarium Drive
Jenks, OK  74037
View map »


Telephone: 918-296-FISH
Contact Name: Ann Money
Website »

More information

Isabelle de Borchgrave: Fashioning Art from Paper features the life-size, trompe l’œil paper costumes of Belgian artist Isabelle de Borchgrave (born 1946). Following a...

Cost: $12

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Telephone: 405-236-3100
Website »

More information

Opening to the public on Thursday, Nov. 16, the 110th anniversary of Oklahoma statehood, “The Art of Oklahoma” celebrates the Museum’s outstanding and...

Cost: Free with admission

Where:
Oklahoma City Museum of Art
415 Couch Dr.
Oklahoma City, OK  73102
View map »


Website »

More information

The work of renowned artist Christopher Curtis will be featured at Tulsa Botanic Garden’s first sculpture exhibit March 17 through August 26. Curtis works primarily in stone and he often...

Cost: FREE for Garden members; $8 ages 13+, $4 ages 3-12. Kids 2 and under free

Where:
Tulsa Botanic Garden
3900 Tulsa Botanic Drive
Tulsa, OK  74127
View map »


Sponsor: Tulsa Botanic Garden
Telephone: 918-289-0330
Contact Name: Lori Hutson
Website »

More information

 ORU offers a wide variety of summer camps from basketball camp to swimming camp for all ages. For a schedule and list of options visit ORUCES.com/camps.

Cost: Prices Vary

Where:
Mabee Center
7777 S Lewis Ave
Tulsa, OK  74171
View map »


Telephone: 918-495-6000
Website »

More information

Cost: $30.00 per person

Where:
Tulsa Spotlight Theater
1381 Riverside Drive
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Sponsor: Rachel Horsley
Telephone: 918-891-8334
Website »

More information

August 10th 7pm to 10pm  food from Trencher's Deli and fruit cobblers by Vera Grocery & Drill 

Cost: $30.00 per person

Where:
Tulsa Spotlight Theater
1381 Riverside Drive
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Telephone: 918-891-8334
Contact Name: Rachel Horsley
Website »

More information

August 10th 7pm to 10pm  food from Trencher's Deli and fruit cobblers by Vera Grocery & Drill   Make your reservations today! 918-587-5030

Cost: $30.00 per person

Where:
Tulsa Spotlight Theater
1381 Riverside Drive
Tulsa, OK  74135
View map »


Telephone: 918-891-8334
Contact Name: Rachel Horsley
Website »

More information

Crossing borders are central Consuelo J. Underwood’s artistic practice. In this exhibition inspired by land, politics, and spirit, Underwood speaks to her individual understanding of borders...

Cost: Free

Where:
108 Contemporary
108 E Mathew B. Brady St, Tulsa, OK 74103
Tulsa, OK  74103
View map »


Telephone: 191-889-56302

More information

Break the rules of conventional museums at the third annual Please Touch the Art exhibit. Mark your calendars for the opening reception Friday, June 1 from 5 - 9 p.m., in conjunction with the Tulsa...

Cost: free and open to the public

Where:
McKeon Center for Creativity
910 S. Boston Ave.
TCC Metro Campus
Tulsa, OK  74119
View map »


Sponsor: McKeon Center for Creativity
Telephone: 918-595-7339
Contact Name: Cindy Barton

More information

  RSVP is excited to announce our annual gala!  Join us for a rousing evening, filled with memories of the wild, wild west! During the night, be prepared to dine on delicious...

Cost: $125 per ticket

Where:
River Spirit Casino and Resort
8330 Riverside Pkwy
Tulsa, OK  74137
View map »


Telephone: 918-280-8656
Contact Name: Annette Poston
Website »

More information

The Oklahoma Swing Syndicate (TOSS) hosts a Swing dance and lessons  The Oklahoma Swing Syndicate (TOSS) is the only UNESCO recognized dance organization in Oklahoma.  We are a 501c3...

Cost: $7

Where:
Community Center - South Minister Presby Church
3500 So Peoria
1/2 west of Peoria, on 35pl behind the church
Tulsa, OK  74102
View map »


Sponsor: The Ok Swing Syndicate
Telephone: 918-450-691
Contact Name: Rita Robbins
Website »

More information

Come join us for a special evening of hilarity at Camp “Spon-Ta-Ni-Acs!”  Forget the calamine lotion and sunscreen!  Our indoor campground is air conditioned, and the only...

Cost: $8.00

Where:
pH Community House
306 S Phoenix Ave
Tulsa, OK  74127
View map »


Sponsor: The Spontaniacs!
Telephone: 918-521-9345
Contact Name: Eric Peterson
Website »

More information

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TULtalk


Roy Lee NYC street photography on display

Liggett Studio will host the local photographer's solo exhibition, “42nd Street: Grime, Glamour, and Glory,” July 13-August 4.

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Video: Auburn Cord Duesenberg Co.

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July 2018 Charitable Events

Celebrate summer, have a great time and support worthy causes at these fundraisers and events.

Comments

Church Studio Visionary Buys Harwelden Mansion

Businesswoman Teresa Knox is building quite the collection of historical properties. Harwelden is her latest acquisition.

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Circle Cinema Celebrates 90 Years

July 7-15: Expect new documentaries and features, silent classics, special guests, discussions with filmmakers, a reel-to-reel 35mm screening and much more at Circle Cinema Film Festival.

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