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PrintBarry Friedman at large
Most everyone loves a parade
Why the world hates us At Dilly Deli, a girl about 3 asked, “Mommy, do they have pomegranate juice?”
Which is to say nothing of the care that men with dysplasia and women with enlarged prostates should take Posted rules at a local apartment complex pool recommend that “persons who are pregnant” exercise caution in the sauna.
Hey, Nostradamus, any thoughts on where mortgage rates are headed? MidFirst Bank offered $20,000 to any fan who hit a half-court shot at an Oklahoma City Thunder home game. The company’s CFO, Todd Dobson, figured it would happen every two or three years. In December, it happened two weeks in a row.
Rule 178: Nobody takes a taxi to Utica Square.
Worse, there’s no Rooty Tooty Fresh ’N Fruity on the senior menu. During our monthly At Large SVU Breakfast, we noticed that three buttermilk pancakes cost $5.29 on the senior 55-and-over menu, or about $1.76 per pancake; on the regular menu, five pancakes were $5.99, or about $1.20. It’s outrageous and indefensible. Why should some spry, young punk who sleeps through the night pay 56 cents less per pancake than someone with arthritic knees who gets up every hour and a half to pee?
Arizona — your serve Oklahoma became the first state to execute an inmate with an animal sedative. And while you may like the symbolism of using an animal sedative on an “animal” — John David Duty, who was already serving three life sentences, strangled another inmate with a bed sheet — Oklahoma doesn’t need more “head scratching” national exposure.
Really, Sixth and Peoria — the Pearl District? What, the Scary Hookers and Ravenous Mangy Dog District was already taken? Not sure why every part of Tulsa needs a geographical, architectural or historical moniker, but downtown, which is conveniently located (Lewis Black delivery here) DOWNTOWN!!!, will now be known as the Deco District.
Is there some reason … ORU’s men’s basketball team scheduled only 12 regular-season home games this year? TU, OU and OSU have 17 each.
And just like that, downtown the Deco District gets a new look. The bad news: Hyatt Regency, the new owners of the Crowne Plaza Hotel, painted over the Mayfest mural at West Third and South Main streets. The good news: Same thing.
Heating lamp, dog, closed-in area — what could possibly go wrong? On a cold December night, a dog accidentally started a fire when it kicked over a heating lamp in its doghouse. On one hand, the dog should have been more appreciative of his owners’ kindness by putting it there; on the other, why didn’t the owners love the dog enough to let him inside? Damages were light, nobody was hurt, but the relationship clearly needs work.
Eavesdroppings About “Bodies: The Exhibition”: “When’s that thing leaving town? Those billboards are creepy.”
Good thing we banned Sharia Law. Otherwise, who knows how this might have ended? A 13-year-old Oklahoma City student was sent to a juvenile facility for writing on a desk with a marker. This, like making ugly faces at your pets, is one of those silly state laws still on the books that most sane people ignore — except the kid’s teacher, who made the citizen’s arrest.
You gotta have dreamz! The Green Country Roller Girls held tryouts recently for Thunder Dollz, its rookie team.
Ups and downs
UP … Jim Inhofe for not supporting the congressional earmark ban. To many, using federal tax dollars to repair the I-44 bridge over Harvard so its decaying chunks don’t land on your F-150 is an earmark.
DOWN … Jim Inhofe (first dual recipient in the same month) for refusing to ride on a horse in Tulsa’s Holiday Parade of Lights because, he said, “of organizers’ shameful attempt to take Christ, the true reason for the celebration, out of the parade’s title.”
Nevertheless, the thought of Inhofe on Fox News whining about it every year (during Hanukkah, no less!) is enough to make us want to stab ourselves in the thigh with a candy cane, so to ensure he attends in 2011, organizers should:
Rename it Christians ONLY Parade, and just book donkeys, mangers and wise men. No Santas, elves, music or lights. And for God’s sake, no happy children. There’s nothing in the Christ story about bundled-up little girls sitting on their daddy’s shoulders watching the reindeer floats go by.
UP … Those Tulsa IHOP employees and customers who wrestled an assailant to the ground and took away his gun, which wasn’t loaded. If I’m one of those who took down the man, I’m leaving that last part out and saying the bullets were flying.
