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PrintStraining credulity ... Tulsa style
Barry Friedman at Large
What — nothing about wanting to spend more time with your family?
In deciding not to seek re-election, Mayor Kathy Taylor said her focus “is running this city, not running a political campaign for mayor” and that politics “cloud” those efforts.
Puh-lease.
Taylor’s potential opponents had as much chance of beating her as did one of those carved animal statues on Riverside Drive, so there would have been plenty of time to wage a campaign and still annoy Bill Martinson.
Call us cynical, but we’re thinking:
a) Taylor will soon be working for the Obama Administration (which we understand), or
b) She wants to be lieutenant governor (which we don’t).
Otherwise, it doesn’t make sense. Her imprimatur is all over town (including the downtown ballpark, which would be under construction in Jenks if not for her), and she’s not running again because, why, the City Council isn’t nice to her on Thursday nights?
Nah.
The anaconda has been humbled
Charges that Judge Jesse Harris exposed himself in a hotel parking lot were dropped recently; however, he plead guilty to something called “gross injury of the public peace,” which sounds worse. Harris will have to complete a “Judges Helping Judges” program and repay the district attorney’s office the $1,200 in witness travel expenses.
$1,200!?
All the witnesses are from Tulsa. How did they get here ... via Cancun?
Dumb criminal of the month.
The man arrested for walking along the platform of a freeway sign. He said he fell; cops said he fell because he was drunk.
Picky, picky.
Imagine what she’ll do if you bring queso?
Lahoma Smith of OKC was fined $1,142 after pleading no contest to prostitution charges. Sadly, Ms. Smith accepted a box of chips as payment. We have no idea what her normal fees are, but the chips were valued at $30.
And then, as Tulsa held its collective breath, the ignition key was turned.
A French film crew came to Tulsa in 2007 for the unearthing of the Plymouth Belvedere, which revealed a rusty 50-year-old car. You’d think their producers would have seen the raw footage and said, “For this, we send you to Tulsa? Sacre bleu!”
Instead, the documentary was completed and premiered in June.
The car still didn’t start.
A plea
To the man who stole a bologna and cheese sandwich from Richard Hamilton at OKC’s bus station and then punched him in the mouth: May I remind you that Mr. Hamilton was ... eating a bologna and cheese sandwich at a bus station. He’s already having a bad day.
Let the fun begin
The At Large Division of Pre-Pubescent Teens Who Went Tragically Wrong will be there en masse to see Britney Spears at the BOK Center Sept. 19. We’re hoping for a good show. (Who are we kidding? We’re hoping for a train wreck.)
Do these jeans make me look ... pregnant?
So by now you’ve heard about the 19-year-old OU student who gave birth ... and didn’t know she was pregnant. Her story got so much attention, in fact, it was featured on an episode of Discovery Health’s “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” in June.
The student thought she was gaining weight and that her contractions were just “bad menstrual cramps.” But all became clear when her roommate had to literally fish the 7-pound baby out of a dorm toilet.
The child’s fine — that’s good — but the student still wants to work in an ob-gyn office someday, and that’s not.
Imagine this exchange:
Employee: “Excuse me. I haven’t had a period in three months, I’m irritable and gaining weight. Am I pregnant?”
Hess: “How would I know? Maybe you’re just bloated and grouchy.”
Eavesdroppings
“You have to love Tulsa and its lax enforcement of the open container laws.”
Ups and downs
UP Tulsan Ned Bruha for rescuing two raccoons from inside a Pepsi machine, sure, but mostly for allowing people to call him The Skunk Whisperer.
UP OKC authorities for not charging Jessica Alba with criminal vandalism for putting up “Save the Sharks” posters. A public relations disaster averted!
