5 things I didn’t know I’d do before saying “I Do”

The question has been popped, and the ring is on ... now what?


A cursory Google search immediately yields plenty of wedding websites, downloadable timelines and meticulous spreadsheets — but I don’t know how the planning will affect me.

I got engaged on June 3, 2017, and will be married July 21, 2018. In these last couple months, I’ve learned more about wedding planning than my oversized Pinterest boards could ever tell me. Here are 5 things I didn't necessarily expect I'd do...


1. Judge others' weddings

At first I thought this would be helpful. I could go to my friend’s wedding, have a blast, and take a few notes on what I loved and what I’d do without. Big mistake. Usually I just enjoy the wedding experience, dance a little and get a free meal. Now, in a stressful panic, I analyze everything. While I now know that mint and corral can tastefully go together (I was genuinely surprised), I’m still obsessively trying to figure out how to get cold brew coffee catered for cheap. It's just not worth the worry — plus, it's your friend's special day, and being present for it is an irreplaceable experience (even if the unity candle is an experience you would definitely replace).


2. Become even more careful with money

I’m naturally a saver, not a spender, so I didn’t think I could get thriftier. Can I grab a small pick-me-up iced mocha after a long day of work? Since the day I was engaged that answer is immediately “heck no!” Instead, I think, "Is that a mocha I could be drinking on my New York honeymoon as I walk through Times Square with my new husband? Normal coffee now or amazing honeymoon coffee later?" Usually, the latter latte wins, much to my fiancé’s concern.


3. Increase perfectionism times a million

I’m a natural perfectionist, so I admittedly saw this coming. Unfortunately, my fiancé didn’t. After about 28 days of me emailing him about every photographer in Tulsa and the dozens of new Pinterest boards I had opened to brainstorm ideas, he threw his hands up in the air. I gave him about a week of rest before I bombarded him with honeymoon hotel pricing and cascade bouquet pictures. I mean, if he can't handle me at my most Pinteresting...


4. Strengthen friendships

While I have many friends, I often keep to myself and don’t share my personal feelings. But over the past few weeks, my friends have reached out and shown their support for me and my coming marriage. And how can I not share my feelings when they’re so supportive, and I can’t figure out the color scheme? I’ve learned to open up about how I’m feeling and strengthen friendships, so at the end of this process, I'll have much stronger relationships with friends in addition to a husband.


5. Keep the romance alive and well

Okay, this is a no-brainer but it must be said. Being in wedding planning mode doesn't turn you into an emotionless automaton concerned only with the price of flowers and invitation timelines. Every waking moment when I’m not with my significant other is a moment wasted and sad. What makes it worse is that my fiancé and I both have several jobs that take up our days and most evenings.

But that doesn’t stop us. I can’t remember how many date nights we’ve taken to Barnes & Noble on 71st Street, which is the perfect halfway point between our homes in Broken Arrow and Bixby. Love finds a way. And that reminder is exactly what makes me realize what the wedding is actually all about.

Did you learn any unexpected lessons as you planned your wedding? Sound off the comments — I definitely welcome to advice!


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